Stay in the Arena: Why Real Growth Happens When You Do the Work
There will always be people with opinions. Loud ones. Critical ones. Uninvited ones.
But not all opinions are created equal.
If there’s one lesson I’ve learned from years in business, leadership, and personal reinvention, it’s this: Only take feedback from people who are in the arena with you.
That idea isn’t mine. It’s something Brené Brown said that has always stuck with me:
“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
It’s raw. It’s real. And it’s right.
The Noise from the Cheap Seats
The cheap seats are always full.
People sitting comfortably on the sidelines — not risking, not trying, not building anything — will often be the first to comment on what you should be doing. They’ll critique your choices, question your path, and offer advice that’s completely disconnected from the reality you’re navigating.
But here’s the truth: commentary without context is useless. Unless someone has walked your path or dared to walk their own, their opinion holds little weight.
That doesn’t make them bad people. It just makes their perspective irrelevant to your mission.
Wisdom Comes from Experience, Not Opinion
True guidance comes from those who’ve felt the sting of failure, the discomfort of growth, and the cost of courage. People who have skin in the game. Who’ve launched the thing, led the team, started over, been knocked down, and got back up again.
They may not have perfect answers, but they’ve earned the right to speak into your journey. Because they know how hard it is. And they know how worth it it can be.
Let Go of the Need for Approval
One of the greatest acts of leadership is releasing the need to be liked by everyone. Growth demands that you stop waiting for validation from people who aren’t building what you’re building.
Instead of trying to prove your worth, channel that energy into improving your craft.
- Show up anyway.
- Risk being seen.
- Keep refining.
- Keep learning.
- Keep going.
The arena is where the real work happens. The mess. The breakthroughs. The progress.
And it’s also where you build something no critic ever will: courage.
Use Envy as Energy
It’s human to feel a pang of comparison now and then. But don’t let envy slow you down. Use it as a signal. Instead of thinking “Why them?” ask “What can I learn?”
If someone has created what you aspire to, study their steps. Learn from their missteps. Understand their mindset. Then apply it to your own journey.
Because you’re not here to play it safe. You’re here to rise.
Final Word
The arena isn’t comfortable. It’s not supposed to be.
But it’s where the growth is. The transformation. The leadership. The truth.
So, stay in the arena. Do the work. And remember — the only feedback that matters comes from those who are brave enough to be in it with you.
